Diet

Current weekly menu

Rusty Picture
Consumable Serving Size (Ounces) Weekly Frequency Weekly Total
Duck With Gravy 2.0 4 8.0
Chicken Giblets 1.0 3 3.0
Salmon Dinner 1.5 3 4.5
Beef & Chicken 1.0 1 1.0
Water 3.0 21 63.0

What's found above is a table describing what passes for sustenance in my home. I'm sure you'll find it as dull and drab as I do. Still, I've been known to lower myself to beg for for some of these items. Even when I do, bringing myself to choke it down sometimes proves too much to bear. Somehow, I press on with life.

A humble suggestion for the future

Despite my best efforts I have yet to convince my staff to begin preparing home cooked meals for me. The suggestions below seem not only doable, but delicious! Their continued refusal is nothing less than a personal affront. If you have cats, please print or download this PDF document and use it to make their lives more tolerable than mine.